1. I can’t swallow big kid vitamins.
I don’t know what it is, but every time I see an adult vitamin I’m reminded of a horse pill. They’re huge. My poor little tonsil-obstructed throat can’t handle them without gagging. I’m a pansy, I know. Thankfully, in the past few years, some geniuses somewhere combined a gummy bear with a vitamin and BAM! The adult gummy vitamin was born and I can receive my valuable daily dose of vitamins.
In the words of Paul Harvey….now you know.
2. I hate running. HATE. With a passion. I had a professor who told us that she had a t-shirt that read “Running Sucks” and I knew I had found, in the words of Anne of Green Gables, my bosom buddy (that, in addition to the fact that she’s a former gymnast, like me, and my one of my two favorite professors — but I digress).
Running, to me, equals punishment. As a gymnast, when I didn’t have all my splits, I had to run. Not folding perfectly in half in your pike stretch? Run. Fall off the beam? Run. Have a hair out of place in your ponytail? Run. Blech, I hate running.
Just kidding on that last one. Sort of.
3. When I call people, I say to myself, “Please go to voicemail. Please go to voicemail.” Yeah, I know. It’s dumb. I like talking to people and I’m good at talking to people. I just really hate the phone and I really dislike having to explain why I’m calling without being able to see facial reactions. I’d rather e-mail or talk to you in person. End of story.
4. I have more t-shirts than any human being should have.
They seem to come from everywhere. Souvenirs, events…people stop making t-shirts so readily available! I can’t get rid of them! Goodwill doesn’t seem to want t-shirts labeled with “2008 Region IV FFA Camp”. Or maybe I just have an unjustified connection to them. Eh, tomayto tomahto.
5. Someday I will be a trendy dresser. For some reason #4 gets in the way. Ironic.